A beautiful, snow-covered day here in Golden. The place is clean, the pup is tired, my tea is cooling. What a perfect time for a post. 🙂
It’s been a crazy, confused couple of weeks and I’m glad I have this blog to sort out my thoughts while helping you guys as well.
I know many of you think I have everything figured out about my life (ha!) but being in my young 20s in such an open-minded city has been gettin’ me all sorts of flustered and has my anxiety reaching its max.
I don’t think anything scares me down to the core more than feeling stagnant with life and myself. Routine is my worst enemy, yet the most comforting thing. I get antsy if I’m not improving myself, learning something new, or exploring new places. This also doesn’t help with jobs because around month 6, my intuition knocks on my door,
Are you still enjoying your time here?
Are you being challenged?
Are you helping others?
Should we see what else is out there?
I get bored very easily, if not challenged, which is why I am always on the lookout for new and interesting careers and places to visit. Which probably doesn’t look the best on my resume 😉
Anyway, these past couple weeks have been tough, I’ve been fighting with who I am, who I want to be, and who I think other people want me to be. < (Why? I have no idea)
I came to Colorado with the ideas of
- Wanting to explore as much as possible
- Keeping up with my health via weightlifting, hiking, eating clean, and yoga
- Working on my innerself – having peace within, being mindful, etc.
I knew these were my core values to keep my mind at ease and know that I am happy with who I am. Working at the place I do, I meet a vast amount of amazing people that moved here from all over the world. I love hearing their stories, I love who I work with, and I love helping patients get the natural medicine they need. It pays well, it’s not physically demanding, and the vibe is quite chill 🙂
But my core values were slipping, I had no drive left. My life quickly became
Wake up, work, come home, relax, sleep.
Days off became
Wake up, half-ass my workout, come home, relax, more relaxing, sleep.
Back to work.
Hiking definitely wasn’t a priority, even on beautiful days. With all my free time during days off or slow times during work, I got anxious thinking something’s missing with my life. I felt like a was going through a quarter-life crisis, that I wasn’t doing enough with my life.
Should I move again?
Should I quit my job & go backpacking for a month?
Am I too tied down?
Randomly, I felt like I had no control in my life and I was a nervous wreck, thinking I was wasting away the best years of my life.
Chill, my love.
All it takes is to look back where you were two or three years ago. Where were you then, compared to where you are now. Sometimes, I don’t give myself enough credit. I mean, Kolin & I packed only what we could fit into our 2 cars, and drove off. With no place to live, no job planned out, and knowing zero people here. And, look at us now.
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and get lost. With all the people you meet, the people you want to like you, thinking about the future, and the routine of day-to-day life can make you forget your core values and what truly makes you happy.
“The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive.”
None of us have life figured out, but constantly thinking about what path you should take or if you’re on the right path does no help. It only creates anxiety and unneeded uncertainty. Stop worrying about if you’re with the right person, or if you’re studying the right major, or if you’re making the best decisions for the long run.
Are you happy?
Are you truly content with yourself and who you are as a person?
Then, keep doin’ you, boo.
Everything will fall into place, whether it works out with that person, or you end up using that degree, or not. Enjoy the moment you’re in. As long as you are content with yourself down to your core, let things fall into place.
I’ll end this post with random quotes that have spoken to me lately.
Good luck, fam. Life is crazy. 🙂
until we meet again,
“You have to find what sparks a light in you, so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.”
“Don’t wander away from yourself to get closer to someone else.”